thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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