my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
