Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
