If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
