He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
