Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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