Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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