I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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