I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have tasted many bathrooms
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
