I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
