i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize