I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
