i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
