i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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