i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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