i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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