Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
