I puked a lego.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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