i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
