Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
