ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
