He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
