i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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