I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
In other news, I just burned my penis
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
