i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
nutella sex= disaster
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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