I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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