The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
