I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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