I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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