You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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