He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
