I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
