I CAN MOONWALK!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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