I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
