WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize