I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you had me at cake vodka
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
