i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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