You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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