Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
