They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
