That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
