he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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