Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
