She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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