Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
