So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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