I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
