Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
