I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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