the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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