I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
