Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
