His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
