Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
