Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
