So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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