I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
