And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize